God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
