that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize