Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
