I skipped work to stalk him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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