i can't believe i had my finger in that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
