Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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