i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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