our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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