Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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