we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
