Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
