Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
