Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
