I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
