Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
