Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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