if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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