Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize