I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
