i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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