His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
