just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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