So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
