So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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