Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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