home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
