Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
