After last night, I could never be a politician.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This is the high leading the old right now
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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