I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
