i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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