We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize