So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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