I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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