Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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