She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
we should paint friendship bongs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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