So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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