i permit you to call me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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