I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
try to milk me bitch
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