Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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