hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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