I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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