That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
