I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
