Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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