We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
