Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Never underestimate the power of titties
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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