If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
