so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
