I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
