is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Randomize
