I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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