i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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