Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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