no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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