Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
