idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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