glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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