She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
