Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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