Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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