mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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