Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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