What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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