The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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