Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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