He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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