so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize