Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
