When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
